File this one under “What will they think of next”: Aerial bartenders. I kid you not—such a thing really exists.

As the Web site says, “Performing three 30 minute sets, our beautiful glamazons perform breathtaking aerial acts as they serve your guests champagne or other exotic drinks upon request.” I’d suggest also hiring a few masseuses to help uncrick people’s necks after they watch a set or two (and a few more earthbound barkeeps to provide a more prosaic form of the service).

Thanks to Andy McNeill, principle and CEO, American Meetings, Inc., for pointing to this gem of an idea on the Meeting Solutions blog!

I know I like to complain about airline chicanery when it comes to fees, but this one blew my mind: A Comtel flight en route from India to the U.K. stopped in Vienna and refused to compete the trip until passengers pulled out their ATM cards to raise another $31,000 to pay for gas. Seriously??

If you want your meeting attendees to make good decisions based on what they learn, go ahead and pump them full of coffee (or water, or any other beverage, though I presume alcohol would nullify the effect). So says an article to be published in the March 2011 issue of Association for Psychological Science.

After feeling the inevitable full-bladder effect of mucho coffee during a long lecture, Mirjam Tuk, of the University of Twente in the Netherlands, did some research on that bodily discomfort and decisionmaking. The upshot? “You seem to make better decisions when you have a full bladder,” Tuk says.

Do with this nugget what you will — I’m just the messenger.

I love cheese. I mean really, really love cheese. It’s the main reason (along with ice cream) why I failed as a hard-core vegan many years ago. And now I know why: According to VegSource.com, cheese is up there with chocolate (and, go figure, sausage) in messing with your brain chemistry:

“In 1981, Eli Hazum and his colleagues at Wellcome Research Laboratories in Research Triangle Park, N.C., reported a remarkable discovery. Analyzing samples of cow’s milk, they found traces of a chemical that looked very much like morphine. They put it to one chemical test after another. And, finally, they arrived at the conclusion that, in fact, it is morphine. There is not a lot of it and not every sample had detectable levels. But there is indeed some morphine in both cow’s milk and human milk.”

And from Care2: “Researchers also discovered the protein casein, which breaks into casomorphins when it is digested and also produces opiate effects. In cheese, casein is concentrated, and so is the level of casomorphins, so the pleasurable effect is greater. Neal Barnard, MD said, “Since cheese is processed to express out all the liquid, it’s an incredibly concentrated source of casomorphins—you might call it dairy crack.”

Just some food for thought as you work on the menu for your next event.

Check this out: A conference room with tables that reset themselves:

I agree with Josh over at Automaton that this likely will never be cheap and easy enough to become something you regularly could expect to see in future conference rooms, but it could save some staffers some backaches, and it would be pretty cool if you could link the robots to the Internet reservation system so the room could rearrange itself to be ready when you need it.

(Thanks to Alison for the pointer!)

This has to be the weirdest thing I’ve run across in a while: Rent a White Guy, from The Atlantic. It’s about an American expat in China who was hired to act as an executive from a non-existent U.S. company, including at a ribbon-cutting event. Is it theater? Is it fraud? Is it just one of those respect-the-differences things? I’ll leave it to you to judge.

It seems a handyman tasked with pruning a tree cut off the branch his ladder was leaning against and, not surprisingly, fell down and injured himself. But it’s the hotel’s fault for not doing a proper pruning risk assessment, he says, suing the company. I love this response from the hotel lawyer:

David Walton, mitigating, said the hotel owner, Jan Hampton, was not on the premises at the time and would have ensured the task was carried out by specialist tree surgeons if she had been.

”They proceeded to cut the branch that the ladder was leaning against. It is an unusual accident. Laurel and Hardy do this sort of thing,” he said.

People think they’re being polite and attentive by turning their cellphones to “vibrate” mode during conference sessions, but that isn’t enough to keep their attention. According to Fast Company, the sound a vibrating phone makes is the third most-addictive noise there is (behind only a baby’s giggle and the Intel dum dum dum dum). As the article says, “When we switch our phone into silent mode, we think it cannot be heard. But the vibration has its own sound, and almost immediately the test subjects stopped whatever they were doing to attend to their phones.”

The whole article is well worth a read, especially to those of us who wonder where marketing will go next. Which should be every conference planner, because no one puts more time, money, and research into how people learn and how to make learning stick than marketers. Now that they’re starting to look into how to reach people through more than just their visual sense, here’s hoping we do as well (and we’re not even selling anything other than good ideas, right?).

There’s a new scam in town (or at least, one that’s new to me): Invitations to attend a fake academic conference so the “organizers” can get your personal information. Bob Grant recounts his experience with one such conference on this post on TheScientist.com.

He starts with this question, then gets into the gory details: “Are phony academic conferences the new Nigerian princes of the internet?” Oh, I sure hope not. It’s bad enough that legit scientific conference organizers have to watch out for overseas attendees who try to get invitations just to get in the country holding the meeting; the last thing we need is for legit attendees to have to worry that the conference is bogus.

Someone sent this job posting to me earlier today, and I just don’t know what to make of it. I know meeting planning gets tucked into a lot of different job descriptions, but this is a new one for me (emphasis mine):

JOB TITLE: Maintenance and Event Coordinator

PRIMARY DUTIES AND RESPONSIBILITIES:
Responsibilities:
• Performs the repair and maintenance of all HVAC and mechanical equipment. Includes fans, motors, belts, filters, dampers, and exhaust fans.
• Installs, repairs, and replaces plumbing fixtures, electrical fixtures, kitchen equipment, building equipment and other technical repairs.
• Arranges space, exhibits, tours, banquets, receptions, and other applicable conference activities.
• Coordinate AV set up and take down.
• Maintains preventive maintenance schedule, repair logs, and reports on building, equipment and grounds.
• Recommends maintenance purchases and repairs for building operating needs.
• Maintains grounds, parking ramp, parking lot, and equipment.
• Coordinates maintenance and repair of carpet and hard floor equipment.
• Coordinates the install and uninstall of office furniture and moves.
• Coordinates repair and maintenance of vehicles.
• Completes work orders as assigned through the e-maintenance system, email, or paper orders.
• Ensures the building and grounds are safe for all visitors.
• Works with vendors scheduling maintenance and equipment repair and follow through until completion.
• Completes other duties as assigned.

EXPERIENCE AND QUALIFICATION REQUIREMENTS:
Qualifications:
• High School or GED required.
• Minimum 1 to 3 years of progressive maintenance, HVAC, plumbing, electrical, and construction experience.
• Computer experience with Word, Excel and Outlook.
• Ability to lift, move, and pull 100 lbs. consistently. Bend, kneel, and ability to move up and down ladders and other equipment.
• Must have a valid driver’s license and reliable vehicle to run errands as requested and able to pass a pre-employment criminal background check and auto insurance requirements.
• Ability to work where exposure to operating circumstances require following standard or prescribed safety precautions.
• Ability to work days and weekends as scheduled.
• Bilingual in Spanish, Hmong, or Somali a plus.
• Must be a team player and willing to work in a diverse environment.