At a massage station at Boston Logan: “Looks like that chair is too low. Want me to higher that for ya?”

This video is so funny — thanks, I needed that, MeCo! Check it out: Real-life situations deserve real live meetings.

I’m sure you’ve heard about the case of the poor ESPN reporter who was spied upon and videotaped in the altogether in her hotel room; now hotels are rethinking their guest security practices to hopefully save you and I from this kind of embarrassment. According to Hotel Online:

Joe McInerney, CEO of the American Hotel and Lodging Association, confirmed that his organization “sent an advisory to our members asking them to review all their guest privacy procedures and all of their security procedures to make sure their staff are doing everything they should be doing.”

This includes asking if a guest is OK with someone getting a room adjoining theirs, which is something I’ve never been asked (and never thought too much about until now). They’re also checking into what they can do to stop peepers from peeping. In the meantime, it says to smear vaseline on the peephole, or stick a piece of duct tape over it. Kind of defeats the purpose of the peephole, but whatever.

…do as the Romans do. So says my sister, who also happens to be a cross-cultural coach and long-time resident of that most beautiful Italian city. For example, those F&B guarantees that make you crazy? You don’t have to sweat them if your event is in Rome (but I know you will anyway. At least, I would).

For the Twitterers among us, a hilarious flowchart from Wired: Ask a Flowchart: Should I Delete My Tweet?

Steve Yastrow makes an interesting analogy on the TomPeters blog:

In the 2004 movie, 50 First Dates, Henry (Adam Sandler) and Lucy (Drew Barrymore) meet, have a great first date, and plan to see each other again. But the next day Lucy acts like she doesn’t know Henry. Lucy has a short-term memory loss problem, so each day is a new “first date,” in which Henry has to attempt to rekindle the relationship.

Most people think of 50 First Dates as a romantic comedy. Not me. I think it is a business movie. Isn’t this what it is like to do business with most companies?

And, I would add, isn’t this like registering for all too many conferences? You get the generic brochure, the generic Web portal, etc. — where’s the appreciation for your loyal attendance all these years? Where’s the attention paid to your needs and wants? If you ever needed a prod to get started in segmenting your prospective attendee base to personalize your offerings, especially to your returning attendees and your first-timers, consider yourself prodded.

First dates are hard enough the first time you have them. To have to go through it year after year just makes you feel like the sponsoring organization just doesn’t care. And I’m pretty sure that’s not the message you want to send.

If your target audience includes those who are generationally challenged on the upper end (aka, older), check out this post from David Patt. I’m not quite a geezer (yet), but I can relate to a lot of his suggestions, many of which are good no matter what age your attendees might be. This tip deserves a special callout:

10. Be sure that meeting rooms are well-lit, and that printed and electronic information are displayed in large fonts, so people can easily read copy from close-up and from a distance.

One of my pet peeves is a PowerPoint stuffed with tiny little graphics and squiggles the speaker says are words, before adding, “don’t worry if you can’t read it. It’ll be in my handout.” And then it isn’t.

Particularly, though, make sure your directional signage is clear, big, and easy to read. Who wants to walk around squinting at signs to find their session room?

It doesn’t include the inevitable markup, salary, or overhead costs for sandwiches on your BEO, but check out this sandwich calculator to see how much those hoagies you fed your hungry hordes at lunch really cost to make.

(Thanks to the wondrous BoingBoing for the pointer.)

I’ll admit it: I was a big fan of the original Star Trek series. I wanted to be Captain Kirk. My best friend and I made our own homemade Tribbles out of old stuffed animals and disemboweled robot-type toys. I even made a fake flip-open communicator out of an old microphone when I was on the AV squad (did I mention I was a total geek?).

But little did I know that one day we may actually have in our sights the touch-a-button-on-your-shirt-and-talk thingie that all those poor red shirted guys wore in vain, slapping at their chests for help right before the salt monster sucked all the moisture out of them.

But check it out: The Star Trek communicator lives! This could make those old walkie-talkies at a conference completely obsolete. Yes, I am a little overly excited about this. Yes, I am still a geek.