Do you have a memorable teacher?
I was recently asked this question by a couple of women who are doing a project about teachers who have made a difference in people’s lives–not just academic teachers, but anyone who has taught us a memorable lesson. I responded with this:
- One of the most influential teachers I have ever had is my younger sister, Becky Abbot. Becky was born with mental retardation, and for much of her childhood was institutionalized, in foster care, or in group homes. Her early life was not easy, and she underwent many experiences I can’t even imagine. But somehow, she has managed to keep her faith that people are good, that everyone she meets is a potential friend, and that there is pure joy everywhere you look, in every experience you have–even the bad ones. She now lives independently, works a regular job, and has an infinitely better social life than I do.
I’m the kind of person who likes to dwell on what-ifs and should-have-beens, and I like to beat myself up over the past. Becky just says, “Oh, my sister Sue, you’re so funny!,” laughs her infectious laugh, and shows me just how rewarding living in the moment can be. She teaches me to trust in people, and in life. She teaches me that whatever happens is what’s meant to happen; it’s up to you to figure out the lesson in the experience and then move on. Or not figure it out and move on anyway. She teaches me that the true test of a person is not in their intellect, or social status, or any of that horse puckey–it’s in how you touch other people as you dance through life. And how you let them touch you. And, of course, that bowling is the ultimate in fun, even if I stink at it.
Another excellent teacher I had was a girl I’ll call Leslie D., who in 7th grade daily threatened to beat me up after school. I didn’t even know her, or her friends, but she hated my guts for some reason. While I lived in fear and never traveled alone for a while, she taught me an important lesson–that it’s not all about me. Sometimes, people will treat me in ways that have nothing to do with my intrinsic worth, or anything at all to do with me. They have their own reasons and motivations that I may never know, or understand (she told me it was because she hated my face, whatever that means).
While I still struggle with this, especially when I get treated in ways I don’t believe I deserve–I seldom complain when I get kudos I don’t deserve, but that’s another story!–it’s important to remember that people come into situations with their own perspective, and none of us see any given situation or person the same way, since we’re looking through different lenses. And that life isn’t fair.
I could go on and on (Mrs. Hermann from 8th grade English–your influence was so profound it would take a book to do you justice!), but I’d rather hear your stories about people who have taught you important lessons for your work, your life, or whatever is important to you. Please drop your story in the comments area and share with the rest of us those who have helped to shape who you are.
Related Topics: Adult learning
April 26th, 2005 at 12:24 pm
The story about your sister was a delight. I spent a few years as a social worker for the State of Mich. Dept of Mental Health and Mental Retardation in the 1970s — early in the push on getting adults out of big state institutions — and the stories of many capable men and women would break your heart. Fortunately, many hotels and people in the hospitality industry helped these people getting their first work experience. One young man, named Ronnie, who could only count to 10, is still setting up banquets (by the tens) in a hotel in Lansing, Mich. and living independently. Thanks for your story.
April 26th, 2005 at 2:33 pm
I too was recently asked about teachers who influenced my life. I saved what I wrote - because it struck me that it ALL had to do w/ the path I’ve taken into adult learning and group facilitation and training. I share it here:When I read this I thought of high school teachers - teachers at a time of my life when I was discovering so much about myself. Lenore Clippinger, my sophomore English Lit teacher. A gentle woman, a wonderful teacher tho’ I can’t remember a thing I learned from what she taught that was part of the curriculum. She understood learning and that people learned differently. How funny to think back to then .. 1962-1963 .. and school generally being so rigid. I hated desks and wanted to sit on the floor. There was no argument from Mrs. Clippinger .. there was acceptance of my learning style. It was such a small act on her part; it was my first time to be treated as an individual learner. I am not sure how much of that I realized at the time - I do know the experience stayed with me and is still used as an example when I teach meeting planning .. about designing meeting for individuals. I even SAY, at the start of a facilitation or training, that people should be comfortable ..talk, move, sit, lie on the floor and I mean it. It started w/ Mrs. Clippinger. Stan Blum taught civics. It had an element of social studies, learning about government, how it worked, what it meant to us - still so many years from voting. As I write this, again, I am amazed that what I took away from that was his METHOD of teaching .. his mentoring w/ teaching .. his ASKING us things v. telling us. Mr. Blum (who I saw many years later and who asked me to call him “Stan” and I try.. I do try!) invited any of us who wanted to come to his house and talk about current events. Oh my .. THAT was a highlight of my life! To learn to argue effectively, to talk w/ other students and w/ Mr. and Mrs. Blum about the impact of the turbulent ’60s on us and on our world! He encouraged us to read .. to learn .. to be aware and IN the world. I wasn’t changed by the experience - we did talk about these issues at home - I was energized and again, the willingness he had to nurture us and our thoughts and to allow US to explore was the gift he gave us. It’s never left me. Jim Payne, my speech teacher, who told me years later that he was SURE I’d go into politics .. that I was so solid when I spoke and so passionate, taught me so much of how to speak to others .. whether in a speech on a stage, in a debate, in one on one conversations. I still have, tucked away somewhere, my A- for my final grade speech - the “minus” because I didn’t use charts and stuff which we were supposed to do. He said I was so effective w/ my hands and facial expressions that I made up for it .. he just had to go by the grading system! Jim was also the first Gay man I ever knew.. or ever knew that I knew as I began to understand more about sexuality. He of course did not acknowledge this in school .. it was as unacceptable then as now .. he was called names by some of the students and let it roll off him. (”Teachable” moments in diversity were few and far between.) Jim also influenced my choice of college - Drake in Des Moines, IA - to which I applied bec. Jim said I should try theatre even tho’ I didn’t in high school. (I memorize badly; improv however is another thing entirely!) I loved Drake .. and tho’ I went there for only a year, it was the right place for a budding radical and I did get involved in campus and national politics and movements. Bing Davis taught art in our high school. He was one of a few (maybe 4 or 5) (first Negro, then Black) African American teachers in our school. I don’t know how I got to know Mr. Davis - another teacher who told me to call him by his first name after I got out of school and to this day, I can’t easily do so - I didn’t take art. Somehow I did. He allowed me to sit in his classroom during many of my studyhall periods. I would listen to his wonderful soft voice instructing his students, and sometimes I’d do homework or otherwise read or study. Sometimes I just listened. I loved how Bing talked ‘up’ to his students, allowing them (and me) to learn in new ways. As I come to the end of this .. the teachers who made the difference in high school .. I think too of the wonderful grade school teachers I had: Mrs. Pflaum in first grade who was gentle and cared so much about her students; Mrs. Reynolds in 5th grade who taught me that 1) it makes on hotter to fan oneself v. sitting quietly to be cool and 2) how disgusting gum chewing was; Miss Stahl in 5th grade who was a tough teacher and helped me excel when I didn’t think I could and esp. after I learned how low my IQ was and how badly I felt that I was stupid. How fortunate I’ve been.
April 26th, 2005 at 8:36 pm
Most memorable teacher-Mrs. Webb-my first grade teacher, who believed I was smart despite the fact I had been placed in first grade “on condition” and was to go back to kindergarten, if I did not ’shape up’-boy did she shape me-I did 50 weeks of work in 10! But to this day, I have a built in prejudice against anyone with the last name Russell (the name of my kindergarten teacher). Most memorable non-teacher-the Hellion of Coventry-whose real name was Dorothy Bell Johnson; her profession was political gadfly & grande dame. DBJ was a grandmother (mine) who did not bake cookies-she made salads instead and gave each of her 8 grandchildren a $1000 toward college.
November 6th, 2006 at 8:08 pm
Thank you for your communication and gift(s) to my mother, Lenore Clippinger. She remembered you and thanked you for your kind remarks and gift.
Lenore, my Mom, died, October 10th. Perhaps you already know this. She was mentally very sharp, but needed to go to the spirit dimention. It was her decision. I miss her a whole lot, but know she is in a place of spirt and love.
Robin Clippinger Grove
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